me: dad can I-
dad: ask your mother.
HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS?!
Why do I learn more about math from Tumblr than my 12+ years of formal education????????
No math teacher ever taught me this trick. Got damn.
This is great and all if you know how to subtract things from 100
My parents are both pastors and once I was fucking this one dude who’s dad was the pastor of the rival church and he whispered ‘talk biblical to me’ so i started reciting Psalms 23 and we ended up getting into a competition of who could recite the most bible versus before they cummed
the fuck kind of romeo and juliet is this
Toddler: I- I-
Mother: What are you trying to say?
Mother: Wait- this had better not be one of those stupid memes where the toddler recites some famous quote.
Toddler: ...I came out here to have a good time and I'm honestly feeling so attacked right now.
hey canadians have fun at school tomorrow
hey americans have fun paying your health care
stop guys we’re friends remember
Children, behave else mother shall have to give the pair of you a bollocking.
You couldn’t beat 13 states, let alone 50.
what’s going on over here?
I just choked
tumblr country wars are the best
Hopefully I can brighten people’s days c: